Style No. 69: Drugged

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Although he sustained serious injuries, the salmon did eventually carry the match.

Although he sustained serious injuries, the salmon did eventually carry the match.

I was stumbling home from Chad’s place, looking for somewhere I could get a snack till I remembered I didn’t have any money, when suddenly this friggin’ orange tree just sprouts in the middle of the street, and a bird with a huge green beak starts playing this crazy song like “Whaaaaa, whaaaaa, errrrr, weeeee!” Dude, freaked me right out. Then I notice there’s a second tree growing around the first one, and its orange branches are all waving toward this unicorn farm down the way. At least five hundred unicorns over there, all walking around like they’ve got an appointment to get to.

So I’m tripping major sack, and I turn around to make sure I’m not gored by a mythical stallion. But just then an ancient wombat scurries past with a mad look in her eye and some secret documents hidden inside a pink chinchilla briefcase tied to her head with a piece of licorice. I was like, “Wombat, don’t worry,” but it was too late.

As you can imagine, I was pretty hungry by this point, and all this craziness made me forget I had no money. So I’m scouring the street for the nearest donair shop, when behind the orange trees I spot this strange painting of George W. Bush playing mahjong with a Coho salmon. Immediately I dropped to my knees and was like “I love you, salmon.” Then I got up and ran around trying to find some wood and brown sugar so I could smoke it before it beat W in mahjong. But that’s when it looked the other way with this mad glint in its eye, and I was like “Yeah. You know something don’t you.”

 

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